


The True Lives of the Fabulous Terror Twins

by laudanum_cafe



Series: The True Lives of the Fabulous Terror Twins [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:15:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laudanum_cafe/pseuds/laudanum_cafe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Alright, would someone like to explain how and why there are farm animals running around our room?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The True Lives of the Fabulous Terror Twins

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate AU where FOB exists but started with a different bassist. The band signs to FBR and have to start working on their album when they end up having to kick out their bassist. Desperate for an immediate replacement, Joe and Andy manage to wrangle Pete into the fold and he joins the band as they are about to start songwriting for TTTYG. This chronicles the first time Patrick meets Pete.

8:49 p.m.

Patrick Stump was in the far corner of the Lindemann Gardens Ballroom sitting at the end of the bar where the music could best be heard. He and his band mates from Fall Out Boy were guests at the listening party for My Chemical Romance’s debut album I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. Patrick usually chose to forgo attending any type of event where large crowds would be present as he was a bit of an introvert but ever since Fall Out Boy started making noise on the scene and got signed, he was forced to these types of scenarios more than he cared for. 

But this was different. Patrick had become rather close to the guys in My Chemical Romance over the past year and was more than happy to deal with a large group in order to get a chance to preview their upcoming debut album a month before it was set to be released. So far, he was impressed. He knew how important this was to the band and was so proud of what they had already accomplished.

As the intro to “Headfirst For Halos” began, Patrick’s band mate Andy Hurley made his way over to take a seat next to his singer/guitarist at the bar.

“I’ll have a virgin Bloody Mary,” Andy said to the bartender as he took his seat. “So what do you think of the record so far?”

Patrick took a sip of his whiskey, cocked his head to the side and considered his reply. Before he could speak, Andy gave a laugh and answered his own question.

“I should know better to ask you that. You and Toro have such a hardcore bromance going on that even if the album was complete garbage you'd still praise it.”

Patrick grinned and nodded in agreement. 

“So, Pete’s gonna be here tonight. You’ll finally get a chance to meet him.”

Patrick finished off his drink as the bartender automatically set a new one down in its place. Patrick took a sip and asked, “Pete who?”

“You know, Pete Wentz. He’s running a bit late but he should be here any minute now.”

“Oh yes. The legendary Pete Wentz. The magical man who you and Joe had join the band without ever bothering to consult me beforehand. I’m sure I'm brimming with excitement to meet the guy.”

Andy looked at Patrick and sighed.

“Look, you know we were in a desperate situation. Fueled By Ramen was going to fucking cancel the contract if we didn't get a replacement within 30 days. Come on man, the ink was barely dry and they were serious about that opt out clause. Besides, YOU were the one that set his bass on fire and kicked him out of the band.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “That motherfucker had it coming and honestly he's lucky that's all that happened to him.”

He remembered Joe and Andy telling him about this “Chicago Scene Legend” who was supposed to come on board just to record bass lines on their label debut album. Turns out the label insisted they get a permanent member NOW so what else could they do? They extended an invitation to join the band on a permanent basis. Patrick knew that he would have to interact with this Pete guy at some point but he didn’t feel like doing that tonight. He was uncomfortable enough with all the people around but then having to interact one-on-one with the new guy was just too much.

“Come on now, Patrick. You knew we had to get a replacement real quick. Don’t make that face.”

Patrick rolled his eyes again, “Fine. I’ll try to be nice when he gets here.”

“Oh, there he is. I’ll bring him over.”

Andy left and weaved his way through the crowd of people. Patrick downed the remainder of his whiskey in one gulp and called the bartender over to serve him another. He had a feeling he would need quite a few of those to get through the rest of the evening. Patrick could see Joe and Andy were chatting with the new guy and hoped that they would be too engaged in their conversation to remember him. All he wanted at that moment was to go home. This wasn’t exactly how he pictured his night was going to be.

 

1:24 a.m.

“…So that’s when I turned to the gatekeeper and said, ‘No sir, you have it all wrong. It was the chinchilla in the paper bag all along!”

Patrick roared with laughter at yet another insane story being told by his new band mate Pete Wentz. The absolute last thing that Patrick thought five hours and seven whiskeys earlier was that he and Pete would be hitting it off so well. Patrick wiped the tears of laughter off his face and raised his near empty glass in the air.

“I propose a toast. To the most hilarious person I have met tonight…Pete's haircut. Ladies and gentlemen and all those in between, let’s hear it for Pete's emo disaster realness!” Pete snorted and raised his glass in return.

“And I propose a toast to the most yet-to-be-belligerent drunk in this room….let’s hear it for Trick’s fashion sense. A round of applause everyone!”

The pair dissolved into giggles completely unaware of the not so kind glances they were getting from the other party goers or from their own band mates. Joe wasn’t sure what to make of Patrick’s new outgoing behavior but he figured it was much better than the alternative.

Pete leaned towards Patrick and lowered his voice as if to tell the other man a secret.

“Hey, hey, hey, Trick, Trick…I have an idea. Since I’m new, let’s do an initiation of sorts. We can haze Joe!”

“Wait…I thought the point of an initiation is to haze the new person…not for the new person to haze someone else.”

“Yeah, I know but this will it will be way funnier!”

The two grabbed their drinks and began to conspire.

 

2:18pm

“Are you sure this is a good idea? You don’t know Joe the way I do. He’s kinda uptight, you know.”

Pete grinned and put his arm around Patrick’s shoulders. “Aww, come on now. It’s just a little prank. Don’t worry; I’m sure he won’t get upset. Trust me!” 

The drunken pair were doing their very best to maneuver through the hotel lobby unnoticed while pushing a very large wheelbarrow filled with what appeared to be a number of baby farm animals. They managed to make it to the elevator unnoticed and pressed 6 to travel up to the floor where Joe and Andy were sharing a room. Once they reached their floor, they went down the hall to room 611 where Patrick produced the key he had swiped from Joe earlier that evening. The pair stumbled in and switched on the lights. The room was still empty. Perfect!

“Alright…are you ready Mr. Stump?”

“I am absolutely ready, Mr. Wentz!”

With that, they tipped the wheelbarrow and allowed the baby goat, sheep, pig and alpaca to roam freely in their new home.

 

2:53 a.m.

“What the fucking hell!?”

A very bewildered Ray Toro was just entering the room he was sharing with Patrick on the 5th floor only to be greeted by the sight of his friend and some weird emo kid both fast asleep in a very large wheelbarrow. Ray stood at the entranceway of the room staring at them for a few moments before deciding to wake them up and find out what the hell they were up to.

“Hey! Wake up you guys. What the fuck are you doing?”

A very groggy and still very drunk Pete Wentz opened his eyes and greeted Ray with a belch which startled Patrick awake.

“What?! What the shit was that?” Patrick rubbed his eyes, stretched out and rubbed his head when he noticed Ray looming over them.

“What are you guys doing? And why the hell are you cuddling inside of a wheelbarrow? And WHY do you have a wheelbarrow?” 

Patrick and Pete looked at each other and then back to Ray. Patrick sheepishly shrugged his shoulders and Pete opened his mouth to answer Ray’s questions when all of a sudden someone started banging at the door.

“PATRICK! PETE! Open the door RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”

Ray, who was still standing in the entrance, unlatched the lock of the door. Before he could turn the knob to open the door for Joe, he was already flying into the room with Andy following behind him.

“Alright, would someone like to explain how and why there are farm animals running around our room?”

Patrick and Pete again looked at each other, back to Ray, then to Andy and Joe and burst into a fit of laughter. Joe continued to rant at the two drunken idiots but the angrier he became the more hysterical the pair found the situation. Joe, finally so frustrated he could no longer speak, threw his hands in the air and gave up.

“Come on man, it’s all in good fun.” Pete slurred. 

“Good fun? I have a farm running around our room! How in the hell are we supposed to go to sleep?” Andy screamed. 

This only induced a fresh bout of laughter from the intoxicated wunderkinds.

“Ah, forget about it. I’m over dealing with you two…TERROR TWINS!”


End file.
